It's Been a Full Year!

"The only real MISTAKE is the one from which we learn NOTHING."

Source: Kendra E Thornbury

It's been a FULL YEAR since my last post. A full year since I told myself I needed to change. A full year in which I accomplished NOTHING. I can sit here and make excuses for that but what's the point? I can lie and say that I tried to lose weight but TRUTHFULLY, I didn't. I did start going to the gym, but it's been sporadic. I believe the longest I went CONSECUTIVELY was 20 days, and then I just stopped. 

I've tried it the way I've always done things. Sitting around and COMPLAINING about them, sleeping when I get OVERWHELMED, pushing aside anything that reminds me how unhappy I am with myself, and crying about everything while changing NOTHING. 

I'm back to the weight I was in high school. An amount I PROMISED myself I would never go back to. I keep BREAKING the promises I make to myself, and I am so so very tired of it.

I tried MODERATION but I have no control. When I eat a little of something, I want it all. I need to eat a diet high in protein and fat, and extremely low in CARBOHYDRATES. It's the only way I've been able to lose WEIGHT in the past. 

I will make TOMORROW my bitch! I CAN do this! I WILL do this!